A few months ago, we listened to paper crackling amongst our large family opening presents by the Christmas tree. I watched in awe, our two babies in flannel sleepers open their stockings with giggles and smiles. This past week, we watched our youngest baby girl take her first step. It is so neat to realize where we are now, and how our journey has landed us here in this time of what I call ‘Beautiful Chaos’.
And, it is 100% Beautiful Chaos! …. Throw a world pandemic, and moving to a new home in there, and I’m telling you, the chaos was no joke! But, I truly do try and find the beauty in all that we walk through.
Just over this time last year, we had two babies under one. Baby boy wasn’t walking and baby girl was 4 lbs. Fast forward to this season, and we now have two babies two years old and under. Baby boy is running, and baby girl has grown to 16 lbs. Both are doing amazing, and have spent their lives with us including two Christmases and Easters.
This journey we’ve stepped into never ceases to amaze us! It continues to flip us upside down, bring us incredible joy and also, break our hearts to what breaks God’s.
As many of you know, our family stepped into foster care….. to foster! Life circumstances that we dealt with lead us in this direction. We felt called to take this step, to look after vulnerable children, and be a help in any way we can. And even though my heart’s desire for more children and a large family has always been there, I had no idea when we accepted our first placement that it would turn into a possible adoption of two little humans!
This has not been an easy path. Sometimes the realization of what is really out in this world, and the abundant of tears I’ve cried, has overwhelmed me. But I truly believe that anything in life worth fighting for, is harder, uncomfortable and takes more effort.
I’ve struggled though ….
So much of what foster care leans toward, and what most people hope for, is reunification. Reunification of children to birth parents, families restored, addictions healed, situations fixed, hurts forgiven and safety renewed. The goal of foster care, is to ultimately have children safely being raised by the birth families, but this is not always the case.
Enter our family in. With everything we have dealt with, experienced and witnessed during this journey ….. this has not been our case. I do truly believe in reunification, but unfortunately this has never been a possibility for our babies. As of today, we are the only parents and family that they have ever known and their case has now moved to permanency….. therefore we stepped up and said yes to their adoption!
Two years and 3 months have past, with our first two original placements who we call son and daughter. And though there is “beautiful chaos” here every single day….. I wouldn’t change a single thing.
We dream of the day we can officially place our last name on them, and celebrate their adoption into our family. Oh what a beautiful party that will be! Celebrating something we know that God ordained.
Our journey will continue after that though. Adoption challenges don’t stop after the celebration. We have a lifetime of trusting and leaning on God for wisdom and direction for these humans we will now call our own. But knowing where these babies came from (and believe me, I know every horrific detail) pushes me to keep going even on the hardest days. I will never forget my ‘why’.
For those of you fighting for something ,…. keep going! don’t give up! The Lord will equip you for what He’s called you to do.
Until next time….